This is a hard one for some, but of all the symptoms I went to the doctor with, I never once felt like ending my life. A lot of people clump depression and suicide together and that you must be suicidal to actually be depressed. Although for some that statement may be true, for me, it was never a factor. I feel that this is another common reason many people are afraid to confront their doctor or counselor. There is a stigma surrounding depression and mental health. That extreme symptoms MUST be present to have your problems & feelings validated by a health professional. This is exactly what kept me away from talking to someone for years. Sure, there were days I couldn’t get out of bed for class, and other times showering felt like running a marathon, but I figured that although this sucked, I’m not depressed because I don’t want to end my life. It’s heartbreaking to look back now and see that I thought to live with feelings of fatigue and hopelessness were just a part of life, and because my symptoms weren’t ” bad enough” by what you learn about as common symptoms, I must not have been depressed. IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE YOURSELF OR CAN’T DO BASIC THINGS, GO SEE A DOCTOR. You’re not making symptoms up, you aren’t weak, and although you may be ashamed (p.s. you shouldn’t be, but I was too), once you get back to normal, your new fear becomes being that way never again.
“Allow yourself to be proud of yourself and all the purpose you’ve made. Especially the progress that no one else has seen”
It’s going to take a lot of time, and I need to pat myself on the back for the good days and give myself a little bit of extra grace on the bad. Through all of this, good things have come into my life. I’ve learned that as some things exit, others come in and show you how far you’ve come. <3.